Undeniable.

we pretend we don't care when our emotions show otherwise, we hide the fact that we love each others touch, we show no love out in public, but in close doors, where inseparable, we laugh at the other couples, who argue about ignorant stuff, we portray are self's as if we have no feelings so that if one of us decides to call it quits it wont hurt. we don't understand, that we have the upper hand, but still in the same instants two left feet.. our friendship has become more then that though our title maybe misunderstood or even naive, we feel each others fears.. touch each others spirits. no longer should we have to put on a front as if were nothing but strangers, eventually we should become one, not afraid of what could happen or what the future may hold, taking each others, body mind and soul and making it one, no one around us has to understand, but without telling them, they can feel it, the touch of love, the hug of joy the kiss of forever.

If you really knew me...

Born in the summer Jamaica queens hospital premature, almost didn't make it , had to have blood transplant. i could of left this earth way to quickly, but god wouldn't let me go.. lived in Brooklyn New york, until, and incident had us relocate, living with 6 other cousins and my sister, i became strong .. having a uncle who decided to touch on us for his own satisfaction brought me back to reality, after a while i felt alone my brother and sisters same dad different mom there full black. born to a Puerto Rican women, and bajan man, I was different, never considered black because when my hair gets wet its curly, and long. so i cut it off to start over. I never could understand why the black girls, disliked me. high school i had associates but never best friends, i had one, who's been there all along, began understanding things for what they were really worth. fell in love with a amazing person, who opened my eyes to what life and love was really about... despite , that i wasn't complete. I Watched my parents tear each other apart from fighting daily, clearing out furniture from never having anything to eat to being homeless , there was only one, person who was there god. my parents separated and for awhile, i watched my mother, go into depression, and eventually she she got into cocaine.. there was a point in time where my mother, wouldn't come home for days, i was afraid to tell anyone this is what it was. i pretended it was her just going out in partying, it wasn't, she was deep into it , and i tried to be in denial, i had to go to crack house to get my mother, June ,17,2009 i sat there holding her body cold, she promised me no more, and i believed it... for awhile i had the same clothes , had to work at the bowling alley and local hooters that my uncle owned... so that me and my mother could eat.. 18 working and trying to make ends meet, it got hard, the one person i loved, and were off and on, my father hated me, my mother struggling to maintain, i almost lost it all.. i almost let it go..
i finally let, go and decided to, be me Dec 1. i met her, though she isn't what i expected , she's still a life lesson, being naive i fell in love with, what i thought was her, i got into the whole I AM GAY clubbing hang out with the lesbians, becoming something i wasn't, had me in a room full of women who, didn't know much about me but wanted to hurt me, bruised ribs, busted lip.. broken heart, no money phone gone, i rose...now i sit here In September trying to find my self, not tied down... trying to find me you can say I'm gay, im hypocrite , i have a smart mouth but don't judge me until you know me.

Too whom it may concern

From me to you, I send out my respect
Your smile and laugh is one I can’t forget
You calm my soul and make my heart feel at peace;
Speaking of humorous things and lessons we can help or teach
Understand, I want nothing from you but to keep you around ,
if a day goes by without me hearing you my face begins to frown
You have become a daily regimen.
I want you by my side
Im not asking for forever,

But as long as you’re willing to ride

No need to get beside your self,
This not natural for me at all,
Stepping out of element,
I feel 10 feet tall,
I don’t need to be afraid because, within me I have it all
I just want some there, unless, I almost trip and fall,
I can’t promise you anything but I know what i like,
Im not afraid to fight for this because even a friendship is fine, I’ve seen friendships and lovers drift away
I’ll be damned if it happens this time

Heartless has found her match

For a while now frozen cold, I’ve let the inside of me rot deep down into my soul, see I was once beaten by someone who sold, my mind body and spirit, just to help build there own. , I had some complications my heart started to beat slow, I couldn’t control the pain, I played dead for a while so no one would know... That my heart was pure, and my love is gold. See, they have awakened a beast and she has found her match, coming without a welcome, or even a name tag, she was so similar to me …. we were bound to connect like a missing puzzle piece, like a person, I’ve lost and couldn’t forget, she stitched my heart, and released my inner doves, she let me breath within her love she, captured, my heart still heartless but together we remain, both being hurt in our pass heartless we remain Never revealing our feelings to each other just living off, each others, peace…

Pretty in Pearls

she seems, easy to comprehend but, her ink resembles, flowers within each. imprint lies, her struggles, she resembles an angel, yet her eyes show pain her finger nails smell of marijuana, her teeth, rotted from meth, she resembles a beauty queen, if she only keeps her mouth shut, she hides behind her MAC makeup, which covers up the lesions on her skin, the black circles around her eyes, her pearls, are a gift from her mother, she refuses to let the drug, take from her, everything else is gone to the drug, as she sits on the floor of the hotel bathroom she lights a Newport, grabs her Prada purse lays it on the floor she, empties it all on the ground to trying to find some extra change. a make up bag, a broken iphone, a wallet, 2 dollars and 1o cents is all that's left she hasn't has her fix in days, she becoming more anxious by the minute, she cant sit still she's . just lost her job to this addiction , her drug dealer boyfriend, cant keep supplying her overwhelming habit so he left.. she has nothing, she has to make some kind of decisions, she cant take the pain, without any hesitations, she arises, runs a cold shower, washing every part of her beautiful body, trying not to look at her lesions she, gets out quickly , she looks at her self in the mirror, and watches as a tear sheds from her eye, she begins to apply her make up a lil extra then usual.. she slips on a black wig, she once used.. she finds a dress, somewhere in mess of clothes, and food bags in the hotel room, black yet short she slips it on slowly, she slips on her heels, grabs her prada bag and picks up the hotel key off the night stand..before she leaves she kisses her pearls and shuts the door, she walks down to the strip looking terrified, she didn't belong there. she stops at Eighth and Fremont its 11:11 she needs a wish, she realizes she not the only out there , she walks up an down the street, lifting up her skirt ... a man slowly creeps up to her in his honda then stops, he's chubby yet not fat bald but still has some hair, he smells of whisky and tobacco tipsy but not drunk he tells her to get it in she does with ease, they slowly go down the corner, they negotiate a price, he wants everything, shes willing do anything to get her fix she agrees, as he leads her to the back seat, he caresses her thigh, then slowly begins to kiss her, she being in different mind state pays him no attention, he begins, to undress her, and undress him self also.. he begins to penetrate her, she felt nothing, mentally.. it lasted for only 4 mins, after they finished, she asked for her money laying in the backseat naked while he is laying on her left boob, tired as if he did some kind of 1o hour sex marathon, he lifts his head, and tells her im not finished, her being furious and already on edge she, yells, he slaps her. she try to fight back, he begins to choke her, holding on to her necklace, and her throat at the same time.. black mascara tears roll down her face, she cant scream, she cant breath, struggling to get away, she cant, he strikes her once more , and chokes her out until her dead body is purple in blue, being afraid an nervous , he drives her naked body to near dumpster, before throwing her in . he noticed the beautiful pearls, he rips them off her dead body.. grabs her quickly and just tosses her into the dumpster right along with her prada purse, he speeds off later giving the beautiful pears to his wife. she's been erased..she's lost her, mothers pearls to the drug, but also lost her life, her beauty didn't define her, the drugs did..

Beautiful Scars

The beauty of her was her innocence, her smile , being amused by barbies, swinging her long pigtails.. her father was the only man she loved. her mother was her everything.. they took her innocence away from her like a broken toy she loved so much ..without a warning the beauty of her being a child was gone, so she had to grow up , she became an adult at 10, she grew boobs at 12, she started her period way to early, mentally immature physically grown, while 16 and 17 years old's are losing there virginity because of puppy love , she's been ahead by years not because she wanted to.. she's wiped an older mans sweat off of her at 7, a grown man, caressing her undeveloped body, not yet producing sperm, she's afraid her body tenses, she cant even fathom whats going on all she knows is that it hurts, she closes her eyes, as if she not there, dreaming of cotton candy, mommy, playing and laughing. Her tears go unnoticed baby girl was beautiful, even at her worse , shaking when he came around, never wanting to speak of it, because it was to painful. this women has grown she's beautiful tho scared, from being hurt in her past, her beauty is just not outside it comes from within, strong enough to, be in relationship to love to, being able have someone touch her sexually, with out her body tensing up as she once did, she no longer thinks that what she's been through as, painful more like a life lesson, these beautiful scars made her..they've made her smile, made her happy.. she doesn't make excuses for what happen.. she's comfortable in her own skin..embraces her
beautiful scars and all...




.I wrote this because of someone who inspired me, as beautiful as she is and all she's been through i wrote it because of her, i want her to know she's appreciated.. i will forever respect her and no matter what . I look up to her as strong women not afraid to tell her story and be and existing women who has made it though an can smile, Mikkia i respect you not only for what you've seen but for who you are.. :) Your Beautiful inside and out.. _Uniquesoul

Battlefield

Fighting in this battlefield alone in my mind ,physically im claustrophobic ...they categorize me as weak because my heart can take much pain, who to blame, its so much more to it then what meets the eye , the war has started and the guns are drawn, do i fold or do i participate, pretending im not afraid, its unbearable you can see it in my face, feel it in my voice, my palms become sweaty understand i want nothing but, victory... easy never, scared sometimes.. i look deep into my self, an release !! ..its a battle within, the depths of me, ive lost the true essence of me, inside of others, and different feelings, there can only be one winner... Uniqueflow vs Uniquesoul.