i wanted her...

if i had her, i'd still want her, just the thought of it makes me weak..
the soft kiss of ones lips, the smiles and laughter gives me feelings only felt but can not speak . maybe its the fact that i have to fight for it.
Is what makes me want it more, or is that i am captured in her love, that makes me stay within this love war..
i cant explain what keeps me here,
or why i stay no matter the cost..
i wish this dream could last forever, or maybe our story book ending was real...
this isn't possible but it makes me want it more, the things that they say we couldn't accomplish are now knocking on our front door, i want nothing from you but your heart, and for that i'll give you mine in return ... and no longer will i wait for your love no longer shall my soul yarn...

As strong as you claim to be your weaker then they come, you've created a monster that you cant control an now instead of face it, you rather run.
you've built this contraption that no one can destruct but instead you pretend that this monster is invisible to the world and the only person who can see it is you.
everyone else around you see's it but you, blinded by the once good things , and by the once tamed but beautiful storm. you see nothing wrong,
you've learned to just deal with it, never being happy or wanting more..
sacrificing your happiness for someone else, distancing your self from others, because of the raft of this beautiful disaster, never finding real love because , your still holding on to what once was....


when do you say enough is enough....

December 1.

You in-vision this fantasy world where everything was perfect, where no-one changed , where love stayed new.. and scents of them linger no matter how far it seemed, you held on to anything you could for the moment, you tasted it , you felt it, you believed it, reality didn't matter because, everything around you seem to part for this love, your friends disappeared, your focused shifted. the things you once believed seem non- existent, it was paranormal world that you enjoyed . and didn't want to live without, it fueled you daily. after the hurricane... the debris must be cleaned , pieces of the puzzle shattered glass, cuts and bruised hearts, that cant be repaired.. you remain in trans of disbelief, it was a figment of my imagination, or maybe just an escape from this thing called life, making excuses for the reasons it ended, wondering what happen, all of it becomes, useless.. we crashed collided at the right time, now we rebuild alone, stronger then, ever we rise, multiplied, crucified and battered.. the understatement to say i lost it all would be ignorance more like Ive gained knowledge , i learned by personal experience, so that someone else, around me doesn't have to feel it - peace